Famiies stays together no matter what
by MetalGirl19
Summary: Ratcha and the others head towards Erebor to reunite with the company. But when they arrive, Thorin is not like himself. Has the Dragon Sickness taken over him? Didn't he promised that it wouldn't? What will happen now if that's the case? Will Thorin let Ratcha live in Erebor, or has he decided that she is no longer welcome? Ratcha doesn't know.
1. Chapter 1

And I'm back. There has been a lot going on around me for a time now, with me graduating from High School and started working, I had to put the story writing to the side for a period there. But now I'm back with the last in the Hobbit trilogy to bite my teeth into. And I have a lot of ideas for this one, hopefully I can write them down too =). Thank you, for reading my stories and leaving comments, it makes it a lot funnier for me as a writer to write a story when someone is liking it, thank you =)

* * *

\- Hurry!

Sigrid shouts from the boat she and Tilda are in.

I throw one of their backpacks to her before I jump into the boat myself.

I help Kili and Tauriel down before Bofur and Bain push the boat from the pathway and jumps down themselves.

I sit down beside Tilda, who is clutching her doll while looking around, terrified of what she sees.

When Smaug swops low over us, Tilda screams in panic.

With a sad smile, I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight to me.

\- Don't worry Tilda. I'll make sure that nothing will happen to any of us.

I say as soft as I can through the screams in panic and chaos around us.

\- I want Da! Where's Da?!

Tilda repeatedly says into my chest.

\- I know, I know. We'll find him. I promise.

Tilda leans as close as she can to me and bury her head into my chest. Not wanting to see what's happening around us.

\- Look out!

Bain shouts as our boat collides with the Master's boat.

His boat is overfull with treasures, some actually falls into the water when we collide.

_"I knew it! He did have more money than what he needed."_

\- My Gold! Get us away from here, your imbecilic!

The Master shouts to his guards as he gives me and the rest of us in our boat the death glare.

I stare back with hatred in my eyes which makes him look away and focus on what Alfred says to him.

In the meantime, Bain and one of the guards manage to get the boats free from each other.

I look at the Master just as this rope looking thing gets around the Master's neck.

_"He will choke if he doesn't get that rope away from his neck."_

_"But why would you care if he dies? He should die a more painful death than that."_

I make a huffing sound just as Tilda, who have looked up to see with who our boat collided with, cry's out in terror as Smaug flies over us again. Building up his fire like he did last time I saw him.

Sigrid sits down in front of me and gives Tilda a sad yet terrified glance.

_"Why is she so beautiful!?"_

_"I can't fall in love with her! I just can't! I'm just going to get her in danger, and I can't stand seeing her in danger."_

\- We will survive this, right?

Sigrid asks, moving her eyes from her sister to me with fading hope in them.

\- You will. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise.

I say just as Tauriel stops the boat under an overhang before continuing down the canal.

\- Can you really promise that?

Tilda asks with a tearful voice.

\- Not fully, but I won't give up on you without a fight. You took care of my mother when she needed it. And now I'll do the same.

I say with confident in my voice.

Tilda nods her head with a weak smile.

When I look back at Sigrid, in front of my eyes I see Bain, who is sitting behind me, jumps out of the boat and runs away from us. I also see Bard in the clocktower shooting his arrows at Smaug for no vail. Then it changes again, and I see Smaug falling down from the sky with no life in his eyes and the black arrow deep in his chest.

I shake my head as I turn around to look at Bain just as he shouts.

\- Da!

Tilda looks up and a smile appears when she sees Bard in the clocktower.

\- Da!

Bard shoots another arrow at Smaug, hitting him but the arrow just bounces of the Dragon.

\- He hit it! He hit the Dragon!

Kili shouts in excitement but Tauriel and I shakes our heads.

\- He did! He hits his mark, I saw!

\- His arrow cannot pierce its hide, I fear nothing will.

Tauriel says with sadness in her voice.

I look at Bain just as he nods his head slightly.

His body is filled with determination and I know exactly what he are going to do.

As our boat passes a hanging hook, Bain leaps up and grabs the hook. The rest of us try to grab him as he swings of the boat.

\- What are you doing?!

\- Come back! Bain come back!

Bofur and Fili shouts after him.

\- Leave him! We cannot go back!

Tauriel shouts as I grab Sigrid with one hand and Fili with the other while Tilda grab Bofur.

\- Bain!

Tilda shouts desperately after her brother as Sigrid clutch her tightly to her.

I look back on Bain and sends him a good luck hug.

* * *

After a little while, we are still on the canals trying to get out from Lake-Town when Smaug lands some feet away from us.

\- Who are you that would stand against me?!

Smaug roars over the burning city.

His voice sounds all too familiar and an anger that I didn't know that I had, starts to boil inside me.

_"He was the one who attacked me in Rivendell."_

_"But how can he have done that? He have been asleep for over 60 years."_

_"I don't care for how long he have been asleep. All I care about is that he won't be able to attack me or anyone again."_

\- Now that is a pity. What will you do now, Bowman? You are forsaken. No help will come.

Smaug says as he starts to walk through the burning city, crushing buildings and people underneath him.

_"Bowman?"_

_"Oh, Mala! Bard!"_

I look towards the tower and my eyes widens in fear as I see Bard holding his broken bow and is desperately looking around to find anything that he can use as a bow instead.

_~ Use the bell tower, Bard. Put the broken parts of your bow in the walls and use Bain as well. You won't find anything else that can be useful up there._

Bard smiles quickly before doing as I told him. All the while as Smaug comes closer and closer to the tower.

\- Is that your child? You cannot save him from the fire. He will BURN!

Smaug continues to taunt Bard as he maneuvers Bain to the exact position that he needs.

Then, he let go of the Black arrow.

The roar of pain and fear that comes from Smaug is so loud that I claps my hands over my ears and watch in terror as Smaug crash right into the tower.

\- Bain! Da!

Tilda and Sigrid shouts in terror and fear.

Sigrid holds Tilda tight to her chest and I gently moves her closer to me while I look at Smaug who, with massive efforts, flies up into the sky, all the while as he screams and wheeze in pain. Then he gets quiet and falls down towards the town.

\- Im nick etra!

I shout just as the Dragons dead form smash onto the town, sending shockwaves of water and wind everywhere.

Everything around us falls over, but our boat stands completely still as the water flies over us without touching any of us.

_"Water still?"_

_"That was something I never have heard before."_

_"Where comes all these new powers from? And why does I know them when I never have heard them?"_

\- What was that?

Bofur asks as he looks at me in shock.

\- A spell that commands the water to be still even if there is a storm around you. Only the most powerful Mind-Changer knew about that spell.

Tauriel says as she looks at me with a smile.

I smile back before I look back at what once was Lake-Town.

\- Our home. It's gone.

Sigrid says as she looks up from my shoulder with tearful eyes.

\- Bain and Da too.

Tilda says weakly.

But when I look in the field of life, they are still alive.

\- They are not dead. I can still see them in the field of life. If they would have been dead, I wouldn't have seen them there.

I say as I remove some hair from Sigrid's eye.

I see the tiniest of hope light up in her eyes and I smile towards her.

When Sigrid smiles back, I see something new for her starts to bloom in her heart and I look down when I realize what it is.

_"She's getting feelings for me. She can't get feelings for me, not now."_

\- Ratcha?

Sigrid whispers as she leans closer to me.

I look at her with eyes that shows a mixture of emotions.

\- What is it for feelings that is growing in my chest whenever I look at you?

\- (_Sigh_) Your falling in love with me, Sigrid. Your heart is telling you that I'm the one who will live by your side and protect you. But that is something I can't.

I whisper as I look away from her eyes.

The more I look in those eyes, the more becomes the need to kiss her.

\- I'm what? And you can't what? Please, Ratcha. Tell me what is happening with me.

\- Being in love with someone, that is what your parents was when they were together. Their hearts told them that they were meant for each other. But sometimes, one's heart can tell you that you are meant to be together with one person, but that person has no love for you. In those cases, you have to decide if that person is worth to fighting for or if you should let that person go. Your heart will tell you that you should stay but then you have to think if you are happy or miserable when you are being with the person. Everyone feel love differently, some may never feel it. Being in love can be scary, but it can also feel great. But one thing no one should do is to deny their love for someone. If they do, the love will turn to pain when the person you're in love with leaves you or gets together with someone else, because you never told him or her that you are in love with that one.

I whisper as I look into Sigrid's eyes.

Her eyes are looking at me in shock and her mouth is open slightly, forming a tiny 'o'.

With a smile, I look away from her and out into the misty waters.

* * *

When we finally reach the shore, the sun is rising, and everyone can see what is left of Lake-Town. It is only a smoking city in the lake.

People are crawling in the water over dead bodies and junk. They are crying and screaming for help.

I help Tilda of the boat before I turn my attention to Fili.

\- Should we leave now? The quicker we get off, the quicker we'll get to the mountain.

I say to which Fili nod his head.

When I turn around, I see that Sigrid and Tilda is already gone.

_"They must have gone to look after Bard and Bain."_

I think with a sad face.

\- Kili, come on! We're leaving!

Fili shouts.

I walk over to Kili and Tauriel and places my hand on his shoulder with a knowing glance.

\- Come now, Kili.

I say as I gently tug on his shoulder.

But he's focus is completely on Tauriel.

\- Come with me, I know how I feel. I'm not afraid. You make me feel alive.

_"He have finally understood that what he feels for her is real. Yay!"_

Tauriel looks away with a smile.

\- I can't.

When she tries to walk away, Kili grabs her arm and gives her a pleading look.

\- Tauriel, amralime.

_"Oh, Kili. Don't you understand that it might be too late to call her your love now?"_

\- I don't know what that means.

Tauriel says with shock and surprise.

\- I think you do.

I say with a smile.

Tauriel smiles too and leans closer to Kili.

But before anything more can happen between them, Tauriel straightens up and all emotions disappears from her face.

\- Hîr nin, Legolas.

_"And there's her Lord Legolas. Great."_

\- Maewado i Naug. Boe i nadh egeno.

_"Of course, she needs to be elsewhere. You don't like that she is so close to a Dwarf."_

Tauriel looks at Kili with torn eyes before turning away. Kili sighs and starts to follow me towards the boat with sad steps.

Then he stops and hurries back to Tauriel.

He takes her hand and I see that he gives her the stone we got from mother. He places her hand on his chest as he gets closer to her face to say something.

He then turns around and runs back to the boat and jumps in with me. He looks back at Tauriel for several moments before I poke him in the side with a smile, so he starts to row.

_~Do you think that I'll see her again?_

I close my eyes for a second and sees that they will. But something is odd. I just can't see what.

_~You will see her again, Kili. I just can't see when correctly. _

Kili smiles as he takes bigger strokes with the oars.


	2. Chapter 2

\- Hello! Bombur? Bifur? Anyone?

Bofur screams through the empty halls of Erebor.

It took some time to get to the mountain and then we had to climb in search to find a way up. I think it took us three days to get to the front gate of Erebor.

You could really see where Smaug had smashed his way through to get out of the mountain. There is rocks scattered everywhere.

_"Why do I have the feeling that something is not right in here? It feels like there is a sickness here. A sickness I had hoped would have been gone."_

\- Wait! Wait!

Bilbo screams as he runs up to us, terror is pouring out of him like water.

\- You need to leave. We all need to leave.

\- We only just got here?!

Bofur says in confusion.

\- I have tried talking to him, but he won't listen.

\- What do you mean, laddie?

\- Thorin! Thorin. Thorin. He's been out there for days. He doesn't sleep. He barely eats. He's not been himself at all. It's this… It's this place. I think a sickness lies on it.

_"Oh, no."_

I take a step back as I look around and _"listens" _to the walls around us. All of them is pleading us to cure them from the sickness that they have to carry.

_"I knew it."_

_"Hey. Where's Fili going?"_

\- Fili? Fili!

I shout as I run after my brother who hurries down the stairs.

As we continuous down the long stairs that seems to never have an end to them, the walls starts to shimmer in gold that becomes stronger the further down we go.

When I round a corner, I stop dead in my track of the sight in front of us.

_"Gold. As far as the eye can see. Only a King filled with greed would have this much gold to himself. No wonder the sickness began to grow within Thror. And now it has it hold on Thorin."_

\- Gold. Gold beyond measure. Beyond sorrow and grief.

Thorin is standing on this gold floor, dressed in ornate robes and covered in jewelry. He speaks with this voice that doesn't belong to him and just seeing this makes me mad and sad.

\- Where's my uncle?

I whisper to myself as I look with sad eyes on this person who is a complete stranger from what he once was.

\- Behold the great treasure hoard of Thror.

Thorin says as he flings something towards us. Fili catches it and we all look in amazement on the bloodred jewel.

\- Welcome, my sister's sons, to the Kingdom of Erebor.

\- Sister's sons? What about me?

I mumble as I look back at Thorin with confused and angry eyes.

Bilbo lays his hand on my arm and gives me a knowing glance before gently pushing me towards the stairs.

* * *

When we walk into a room some further down, all the anger disappears as we meet the rest of the company again.

\- Balin!

I shout in excitement and happiness as I embrace him with a big smile.

\- Kili!

\- Bombur!

Everyone is happy to see each other again, they are very happy to see Kili again.

But the joy is short lived as Thorin calls for us to search for the Arkenstone.

\- Any sign of it?

\- Nothing yet!

\- Nothing here!

I shout from the pile I have been looking through.

\- Keep searching!

\- That jewel could be anywhere!

Oin shouts as he almost stumbles when his feet loses its grip on the unstable floor we're walking on.

\- All of you! No one rests until it is found!

Thorin shouts from the stairwell landing he's standing on. Making sure that none of us is taking a rest or hide something important from him.

_"Come and help us search for you precious jewel then."_

I think angrily as I, after falling down on my knees many times, kneels down beside another pile of gold and begins to search again.

* * *

After a loooong time, Thorin calls for Balin, Dwalin and Bilbo to follow him. The rest of us is ordered to continue searching.

\- Oh, no. I'm not going to look for the damn jewel any longer. I need a break.

I mutter under my breath as I manage to climb up from the mountain of gold we have been walking through. It felt like that you had to walk through a deep layer of snow on top of a mountain on some places in that gold mess.

When I reach the stairwell landing, I sit down with a heavy sigh and lean my back onto one of the pillars.

_"Where can a jewel be hiding?"_

I close my eyes as I try to reclaim the control of my hyperventilating body.

\- Do you doubt the loyalty of anyone here?

Suddenly, I'm standing in the throne room where Balin is talking to a none listening Thorin.

\- The Arkenstone is the birthright of our people.

Thorin turns around from the throne, where he have been staring on the 'rightful' place for the Arkenstone, and stares at Balin with anger.

\- It is the King's Jewel.

He says as he walks closer to Balin, building up his anger.

\- AM I NOT THE KING?!

He screams right in Balin's face, before turning his back to them again.

\- Know this. If anyone should find it and withhold it from me. I will be avenged.

Thorin says over his shoulder before walking away from the throne room, leaving the others to look at each other in disbelief and fear.

_"What have Thorin become?"_

I think as I open my eyes again.

\- He's become his grandfather. That's what he have become.

I mutter as I climb down to the gold before Thorin returns. I will not meet him taking a nap when he is this mad.

When Dwalin tells us to stop the search for the day and try to get some rest, I grunt quietly as I stretch out my back after having been bending over for a long period of time.

With tired feet, we all climbs out from our duty as gold diggers with the help from those whose already are standing on the stairs and one by one, we walk up all the stairs and to various places in Erebor.

* * *

I have walked by so many rooms that, by just giving them a quick glance, shows me each of the members in the company working on one specific thing in each of the rooms.

One room would, for example, be perfect for Oin's medical skills. Another room shows trays of what once was beautiful fabrics that Dori would have loved to create gorgeous clothes with. There's one room with old toys that Bifur would give life back to, being the toy master, he is. The list can be long.

_"What was that?"_

I stop and listen more carefully around until I hear it again.

Someone is crying.

I slowly follows the sound into the dusty library where, in a corner, Balin is sitting and trying to cry as quiet as he can.

\- Balin?

I say softly from where I stand with my head tilted to the side with a small side smile.

He looks up as he wipes away some of his tears, worried over who it might be who have found him.

When he sees that it's only me, he sighs and looks down on his hands as new tears falls down.

I sit down beside him and place my hand on his.

\- It is the Dragon Sickness, right? That has taken over Thorin?

I ask in a whisper to which Balin nod his head.

I sigh in defeat as I wipe away a tear that slowly rolls down his cheek with my hand, not caring about my own that is rolling down my cheeks.

_"I lost him. I lost my uncle to the horrible sickness his grandfather got. The sickness he said he never would get himself."_

The quiet sound of Hobbit feet makes me look up when Bilbo walks up to us with tired and sad eyes. He sits down with a quiet sigh of tiredness and leans his head onto one of the many shelves that is around us with curious yet exhausted eyes.

\- Dragon Sickness. I've seen it before. That look. That terrible need. It is a fierce and jealous love, Bilbo and Ratcha. It sent his grandfather mad.

Balin says between heavy breathing.

\- And now that sickness is doing the same with Thorin. All this because of that jewel.

I say in anger as I look away to prevent my tears to fall again.

Balin places his other hand on mine and gives me a calmly but warning glance.

_"The walls doesn't have ears, Balin."_

\- Balin, if-if Thorin… had the Arkenstone.

Bilbo stumbles on his words before he cocks his head with a sigh.

Balin and I look at him, letting him speak without us disturbing him.

\- … if it was found. Would it help?

Bilbo says as he gives both me and Balin an almost pleading glance.

\- That stone crowns all. It is the summit of this great wealth, bestowing power upon he who bears it. Will it stay his madness? No, lads; I fear it would make it worse. Perhaps it is best that is remains lost.

Balin says as he raises his eyebrows at Bilbo.

_"What made him ask that?"_

Bilbo makes a huffing sound before standing up and wishing the two of us a goodnight as he walks out from the library.

\- Come now, Balin. We should at least try to sleep so we might have some energy to look for that jewel tomorrow.

I say with a sigh as I stand up myself.

My back cracks and hurts as I stand up and I place my hand on it with a painful grimace.

\- I think my back would do anything but not to be down at the mountains of gold again. I think I need to talk with Oin to see if he have any medicines for a hurting back before I even think about going down to look for the Arkenstone. Right now, I want to find somewhere to sleep.

I say with a smile as Balin stands up with joints that is complaining all the way up.

\- I think you're not the only one who will speak with Oin tomorrow. But sleeping sounds like a very good idea at the moment.

Balin says with a tired sigh as he place his hand on my arm with a warming smile.

I smile back but my smile disappears when Balin's eyes gets a warning glance.

\- I fear that you are not safe in Erebor, Ratcha. Thorin has not mention you by name since you steeped inside the gates. He only refers you as The Mind-Changer. He sees you as an intruder.

\- I think your mind is overtired right now Balin. Uncle may not be himself at the moment, but I think he won't go as far as to cast out his own niece. But if he does cast me out, I promise you that I won't go too far away from the mountain in case you would need me. But let's not worry about that now. Come. Let's find the others and get some sleep.

Balin mumbles something before walking out from the library. And I walk behind him with eyes that show nothing but worry and fright.


	3. Chapter 3

\- TO THE GATE! NOW!

Thorin screams as he and Dwalin runs away from the mountain of gold we're still searching through.

\- Why?

Nori asks as we hurries out from our prison as I have come to call it and after our leader.

\- Save the questions. None of us wants to get on Thorin's angry side now.

I say as I push him up the stairs, so we won't fall behind.

\- Block the gate!

Thorin shouts as he throws a rock towards me that I luckily catch.

_"He was aiming for my head."_

I give the rock to Nori, who places the rock where Smaug smashed his way out from the mountain.

\- I want this fortress made safe by sun up. This mountain was hard won. I will not see it taken again.

\- The people of Lake-Town have nothing. They came to us in need. They have lost everything.

I say as I walk towards Thorin with worried yet angry eyes.

_"He promised that he would share the gold with them. Why is he not remembering that?"_

\- Do not tell me what they have lost. I know well enough their hard ship. Those who have lived through Dragon fire should rejoice. They have much to be grateful for.

Thorin says in a low voice as he walks up so he is face to face with me. Anger and hatred is standing around him like an aura.

He then turns around and shouts that we have to bring more stones to the gate.

_"His mind is like an open book. It has never been open like a book before!"_

\- Where is Thorin? Where is my uncle?

I whisper as I shake my head slightly. Then with doubt and sadness in my steps, I help with blocking the gate. Closing us from the outside World.

* * *

Later that day, when the sun has gone down and the gate is finally blocked to Thorin's likening, I have found some quietness on the railing to one of the many balcony's that is facing Dale. One foot is dangling freely over the side while a sketching book that Ori had found in the library that didn't turned to ash when he flipped through it, is resting on my leg.

I don't know if I did it on purpose or not, but I left my backpack behind after we had fled from the terror Smaug had drawn upon us when he attacked Lake-Town. I can just hope that Sigrid or Tilda finds it and not someone else. If they finds it, I can at least have it back. Some wouldn't be so kind and give it back when they understands who's backpack it is.

Right now, am I sketching a lose sketch on my mother, not Dis but Relitch. I thought I had forgotten how she looked like before all this happened, since whenever I close my eyes, I only see how she looked like when she was with Bard. But I hadn't forgotten, or my hands hadn't forgotten in this case.

\- Ratcha?

I look up from the sketch on mother and smiles when I see that it's Dwalin who is standing at the vault out to the balcony with crossed arms.

He smiles back, but his eyes shows worry and something more that I never have seen in Dwalin's eyes.

Fear.

\- Thorin wish to speak with you. Now.

He adds with what sounds like force. It's like he has to force the words out from his mouth.

_"What have happened with him? Why is he so scared and worried? Did he just flinched when he said Thorin?"_

\- I could almost understand that he meant now, Dwalin. Otherwise he wouldn't have send you to look for me until when the sun rise. But tell me, why are there a worry in your eyes? What have Thorin said to put that worry there?

I ask as I jump down from the railing with a worried look on my face.

Dwalin makes an almost unnoticed face expression that only increases my worry.

_"He did flinch! Why does he flinch whenever someone says Thorin? What have Thorin done to him?"_

I place my sketchbook on a table that is close by and then I look at Dwalin again.

He have raised his eyebrows and gives me a questioned look that is so much him that I smirk.

\- (_Hah_) I don't think that someone would steal from anyone here. Or am I wrong? Do you think someone will steal a sketching book that is lying on a table, Dwalin?

I ask sarcastic to Dwalin with a smile playing on my lips.

He snorts while he shakes his head with a smile.

Without answering the question, Dwalin walks away through the what feels like endless halls of Erebor and to the throne room.

And there on his throne sits a very tired and, what looks like, angry Thorin Oakenshield.

When there is some meters between me and Thorin, I stop and bow my head with a smile that show no emotions.

Thorin returns the bow, also with no emotions in his smile, then he tells Dwalin to leave us alone.

\- I wish to speak with my niece alone.

_"So, now you can call me your niece. Why not before?"_

Dwalin bows quickly before he walks out from the throne room, leaving me alone with Thorin.

\- Have I done something wrong, my King?

I ask as I look at Thorin with wondering eyes as he walks down from his throne.

_"It's better if I treat him like the King he is and not the uncle I wished he was."_

\- Do you really think I wouldn't notice?

Thorin asks in a low voice that I know well enough what it means while he walks closer to me.

_"What? Why is he mad at me?"_

\- Notice what? I don't think I follow.

\- Do you really think I wouldn't notice when you go inside my head?

\- Go inside your head? I would never go inside your head, my King. What do you think of me?

\- Don't lie to me Mind-Changer. You have been inside my head since the beginning of this journey to reclaim our home. Telling me lies about my own Kin. I should have left you to die when I told you your father had been slain in battle.

\- You're not yourself, Thorin Oakenshield. Why would I go inside your head when I have promised that I won't? Do you hear what you are saying? That is something your grandfather Thror would have said, not Thorin Oakenshield. You have become your grandfather. You are just as blind of hunger and need that you don't even hear what you are accusing me for. Thorin Oakenshield would never accuse his niece like this. He would question if what he is feeling is true, he would have asked me if I have been inside his head and feeding him with lies.

**SLAP!**

Thorin's hand burns like hot coal that have been thrown on my cheek and I take a stumbling step backwards with a hand on my cheek and terrified eyes that is filled with tears.

When I look up again, Thorin is right at my face and his eyes are like bottomless holes of madness and hatred.

\- Don't ever call me by name Mind-Changer. You have no power in this mountain, and you have no right to treat your King like that.

\- Where is my uncle? Where is the one, I looked up to when I had no one? Where is the person who promised me that I would be safe inside the sacred walls of Erebor?

\- He have never existed. You have been living in a dream and you have manipulated me to think that you where someone worth saving. I should have done this a long time ago.

Thorin says as he takes a step back while he takes out his sword, not Orcrist, that sword is in the hands of Legolas. He raises the sword high above his head and with terror in my eyes, I realize he will execute me right here if I don't do anything to stop him.

Just as he lowers the sword in rapid speed, I take out my knife and twist it just in time to catch Thorin's deadly strike.

The sound from when the two swords collides echoes through the big hall and I give Thorin a sad but focused look as he stares at me with wide eyes.

\- I don't know what have gotten inside your head, uncle. But accusing me for going inside your head and manipulate you is something below your standards. The only one I thought would sink that low was your grandfather. And it looks like that you are becoming him.

I say as I lower my voice to a dangerous growl.

I twist my left hand while I snap my fingers and Thorin's sword falls to the ground. He looks at the sword with wide eyes, then he looks at me with eyes that is filled with hatred and disgust.

\- If you value your life, you'll leave these halls now. You are no longer welcome inside the walls of Erebor. I hereby takes away your right to call yourself the Princess of Erebor, you are no longer in the line of Durin, and you will no longer have the right to call yourself my niece. I hereby cast you out of Erebor and if I'll ever see you close to the mountain, I will kill you. You have two minutes to leave these sacred halls.

Thorin says over his shoulder as he walks back to his throne, where he sits down and stares at me with nothing but hatred in his eyes.

_"He did it. He cast me out."_

Still in shock, I slowly turn around and shake my head slightly like I'm trying to wake myself up.

I have walked down two steps on the long stairs that leads to the entrance that we blocked early at the day when I stop in my track and turn half around, and with a voice filled with tears and unbelieving, I say.

\- You know. I looked up to you once. I would have followed you to the end of the line if you had wanted me to. No matter what you think now, you'll always be a part of my family. And families stays together, no matter what. I will always see you as my uncle and my King. My loyalty will be to you and you only.

I say as I bow my head towards Thorin before I turn around and runs down the steps, so Thorin won't see the tears that is falling down my cheeks.

_~ Goodbye, Ratcha._

Dwalin says with sadness in his voice.

_~ Take care of him and my brothers for me, alright? Fili and Kili won't see what he just did with kind eyes. And… (Sigh) Farwell Dwalin._

I say as I give him a hug just as I climb out from the blocked gate.

Once outside the gate to Erebor does I stand still, admiring the moon and the quietness that surrounds me.

\- Now what?

* * *

He did it! He did the one thing he promised Ratcha he wouldn't. What will happened now? There is only one way to find out, right? I will try to update with not so big gaps that it has been for a while now, but I can't promise right now that I can. My life is a big chaos right now, and I'm trying to work everything out all at the same time. Oh, well. I shouldn't nag about my life to you guys. Thank you for reading and leaving comments. It means more to me right now than what I can describe =).


	4. Chapter 4

How mother could have survived in the woods for as long as she has. That is something that amazes me as I stumbles my way through the forest, shaking and freezing as much as my teeth are hacking.

_"But that's of course, she wasn't here when winter was on the doorstep, nor had the destruction from Smaug's attack left this forest to rot away with no animals to take care of it."_

\- I need to (_Shiver_) find shelter. Or I'll (_Shiver_) freeze to death.

I mumble as I try to blow some warmth on my fingers.

I wasn't that smart when I left Erebor. If I had thought it through before running of, I would have collected some food and my hunting jacket that I had on the journey to get here.

Now do I walk around with no feelings in my hands so I can't use my powers to warm myself up. Nor do I have anything to eat and there is nothing that I can eat around here. Everything is dead and rotten. There is not even a bird that is singing in the trees. May so be it's in the evening, but still, there is some birds that is awake at night.

But luckily for me, with the bad luck I have been given right now, I find an opening in the mountain and after a quick look, finds it not occupied.

Before I walk inside, I force my tired body to find material that is good enough to start a campfire with.

During my trip back to Dale when I was 5, I learned quickly that even if I don't have anything to eat, the sight of a fire and the warmth it gave a freezing and tired body was a lot better than if I slept without one.

When I have find enough materials that is good enough to use to my fire, I walk inside the cave and almost falls down for the tiredness that makes it hard to focus.

\- Come on, Ratcha. You can't fall asleep now.

I mumble as I force myself up and build a fire.

After many tries, I finally manage to start a tiny fire and I smile a tired smile as my cold and freezing body welcomes the warmth.

\- Why did he have to send me out in the winter? Couldn't he have waited until the summer? When there at least would have been something for me to hunt so I could have something to eat?

I mutter loudly as I regain my feelings in my fingers.

\- Do you need help with finding food?

With shocked expression, I jump up from my kneeling position by the fire, my hand is already on the knifes handle as I spins around to face the intruder.

When I see who it is, I sigh a deep sigh of relief as I put the knife back in its holder and raises my hands to show that I won't hurt him.

\- What in Valianta's name, Nori! Stop scare me like that. Come inside and get some warmth from the fire.

I say with a tired voice as I sit down myself.

Nori smiles as he walks over to the fire and sits down with a light thud.

\- How could you find me so quickly?

I ask as he opens his backpack he had with him.

He reach down and takes out some piece of bread that he hands over to me, who takes the still warm bread with a hungry smile.

\- Well, first of. You're not that hard to follow in the high grass that is here. Then you also left some easy clues for a thief like me to follow.

Nori says as he continues to take out stuff, MY stuff, from the backpack.

\- But how did you know that I wasn't in the Mountain anymore? Thorin cast me out only an hour ago.

I say as I take on my brown hunting jacket. It has this cozy sheep wool on the inside that keeps the heat when it's cold but doesn't get that heavenly hot during the summer.

\- Dwalin told me after I had found your sketching book. And then you have Fili and Kili. They are out of their minds because you're not answering them.

\- Have they tried to call me in their minds?

I ask as I wrinkle my eyebrows in confusion.

Nori nod his head with a sad smile.

\- Shit.

I mutter as I look away with sad eyes.

When I close my eyes, I am immediately transported back to Erebor to where my brothers are.

They are walking up the stairs towards Thorin's throne with worried steps.

\- Uncle!?

Fili calls through the big hall.

The fright and worry in his voice stings in my heart.

Thorin looks away from the conversation he has with Dwalin and smirks as he sees his nephew's.

\- Welcome. What can possibly put that worry in your faces an evening as wonderful as this one?

\- We can't find Ratcha. She's not answering when we try to reach her…

\- I know where she is!

Thorin says sharply, cutting Fili off.

\- I cast her out when she tried to get inside my head and telling me lies.

Shocked by the coldness in his words, both Fili and Kili, even Dwalin, takes a step back. But Kili is the quickest to get over the shock and walks closer Thorin with eyes filled with disbelief.

\- What? You cast her out? For the reason that you thought she was in your head?! Your…

\- Kili!

Fili says as he place his hand on his brother's shoulder with warning eyes.

\- Calm down.

\- Listen to your brother, Kili. The Mind-Changer seems to have fully control over you. You have to fight against it to get free from her.

\- Can you even hear yourself, uncle? You cast our sister out in the beginning of the winter. Without anything but the clothes she is wearing and her knife to defend herself with. She has her powers, yes. But how did you thought she would get something to eat? There is nothing to eat anywhere near the Mountain.

\- I do not care how she will survive the winter out in the Wild. As long as she stays away from us.

Thorin stands up from his throne and says with loud and booming voice.

\- I hereby declare Ratcha Reynheart a traitor to the throne and I take away her standard as the Princess of Erebor! She is no longer welcome inside this wall and anyone who mention or in any way says her name or what she is, will be punished! If anyone sees her close to this Mountain, I hereby orders everyone to kill her! Disobey my order, and you will join our enemies in hell!

With the sight of terror that is playing in everyone's face around Thorin, I open my eyes again and look at Nori with tears falling down my face.

\- You have to go, Nori. Thorin just gave out an order that anyone who is helping me in anyway is going to be punished or killed.

I say with a quiet voice.

Nori makes a confused face and I can see in his eyes that he's unsure if he should believe me.

After a quick debate with himself, he decides to believe me and with a sad sigh stands up walks towards the opening.

\- Nori!

I shout as I stand up myself and quickly walks over to him.

He gives me a questioned glance that turns into a laugh of surprise when I hug him.

\- Be careful, alright? I don't wish you or anyone else get to feel Thorin's madness.

I say as I bury my head into Nori's neck. Trying, and failing, to stop the tears from falling again.

\- I'll survive, Ratc. Keep the bag. There is more clothes and some food I managed to steel from Bombur in there, so you'll survive for a time out here in the Wild.

\- Thank you, Nori. And… (_Sigh_) I hate to say this. But don't tell anyone, not even Fili and Kili, that you know where I am. It's better if they don't know. I won't answer them, but I won't cut off the link I share with them. That pain do I not want to give them right now. Go now, before Thorin realize that you're gone.

I say as I take a step back from him while I wipe away some of my tears.

Nori gives me a sympathetic smile before he bows deeply towards me.

\- Farewell, Ratcha Reynheart. Until we meet again.

\- Farewell, Nori. May you be as quick as the thief you choose to become.

I say with a bow.

When I look up, Nori has this sadness around him that I can almost touch.

\- Go now.

I say with a smile.

Nori nods his head with a smile and walks out to the snowy forest.

* * *

It have been hours since Nori left. But it feels like he was here just moments ago.

I don't know how many times Fili and Kili have tried to talk with me. But for every time they call, the more difficult does it become to ignore them.

_~ Please, Ratcha. Just tell us in some way that you're alright._

Fili says, his voice is cracking from all the tears he have cried.

I close my eyes and prays to Mala that he will go asleep.

But it takes at least two more painful hours before he finally gives in and joins Kili to get some sleep.

\- Thank you, Mala.

I whisper as I put more sticks onto the fire, so it won't die.

When I'm sure that the fire will burn for some time, I lay down and close my eyes and search for my brother's in the field of life.

When I find their sleeping thoughts, I guide them to a land between the dream and reality. Like the "_Gateway_" but not as dark.

_\- Hello, brothers. _

_I say with a smile as they look around in amazement and surprise. _

_\- Ratcha!_

_They scream in joy as they run towards me. _

_I scream in surprise and laughter as they tackles me down in the long grass that is surrounding us. _

_\- Where have you been? And why haven't you answered when we have called you?_

_Kili asks as he sits up and gives me an almost heartbroken look. _

_\- (Sigh) I cannot tell you where I am, for I know that you will go and look for me and that is something you can't do. The same goes to if I had answered you, you would have pressed me to tell where I am. And I don't want to put you in danger. _

_I say as I sit up myself and crosses my legs with a similar smile as Kili's. _

_\- No, uncle has gone mad. He told us that you tried to go inside his head and feed him with lies. And (Sigh) he told us that if we ever spoked about you, doesn't matter if its only your name or what you are, we would be punished or killed. _

_I play shocked and widen my eyes. _

_\- What?_

_\- Yeah. And he also ordered us to kill you if we ever sees you. So, you better stay away from the Mountain. _

_Kili says with sad eyes._

_\- Yeah, I better stay away as you say. _

_I say with a slow nod with my head. _

_Fili shares a glance with his brother that I know fully well what it means. _

_\- You're not believing me. _

_\- We're sorry, Ratcha. But you're reacting in a way someone who just got told to stay away from their home to survive wouldn't react. What are you hiding from us?_

_\- (Sigh) Nothing passes your Eagle eyes. Nori found me almost an hour after Thorin had cast me out, and he had a backpack with food and warm clothes for me. He told me that you had been searching for me everywhere and when I closed my eyes, I was transported back to Erebor just when Thorin said everything you just told me. And for the question to why Nori knew I was gone. He had found my sketching book and had asked Dwalin, who just happened to walk by, where I was so he could return my sketchbook. So, Dwalin told him. Knowing that I would not survive out in the Wild, Nori decided that he could help me. _

_I say as I look away from my brother's shocked expression._

_Kili moves over to me and pulls me into a hug. Fili are quick to follow. _

_\- I cannot risk your lives and tell you to leave Erebor. Stay there and just pretend that you have no idea where I can be. I hate to say it, but it's better for all of us then. _

_I whisper, to which Fili and Kili sighs but nod their heads. _

_\- Are you still not going to answer our calls?_

_\- I think it's the best if I don't. In the heat of an argument, you can slip and say something that might get you hurt. _

_\- I was afraid you would say that._

_Kili mumbles into my neck. _

_\- I'm sorry, Kili. But there is not much I can do about all this. _

_\- We know, Ratcha. We know. _

_Fili says with a sigh as he lean his head on top of mine._

* * *

When I wake up, the fire have died a long time ago.

But it's not the coldness that woke me up.

_"Someone is here."_

Moving as quiet I can, I stand up and walk over to the person who is standing with his back towards me and are going through some things on the ground.

\- And what do you think you're doing?

I say with a harsh voice.

The person turns around with quickness and I manage to see the hand comes flying towards me before it strikes.

I catch the hand with ease and give the intruder a disappointed yet impressed glance.

But when I see the brown eyes that I haven't seen for so long, the smudge smile I had disappears.

\- Mother?

I whisper.

\- Ratcha? Why are you out here in the Wild alone?

My mother asks with wide eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

After the shock have calmed down, I start the fire with a hand gesture while I tell Relitch to sit down. Not giving her more than a cold stare.

She sits down with nervous glances over her shoulder, like she is afraid that someone will come in and attack us.

\- Stop that. No one will get in here unnoticed. If you feel so unsafe with your back exposed to the entrance, then first of why did you sit down with your back towards it? And second, move over to the other side. I won't bite you.

I say as I give her some piece of the bread Nori had with him.

\- I managed to get in here unnoticed.

She says mockingly as she takes a hungry bite of the bread.

\- Well, I was asleep so that is not much of a surprise. It won't happen again, I haven't got used to being on my own yet. But enough about that. Now, tell me. Why are you still so close to the Mountain that destroyed everything we had?

\- I have never been here since for 10 moons ago. Or was it longer? Honestly, I have lost track of how long it have been. Anyway, I didn't wanted to be too close to Dale nor Erebor to be constantly reminded about what I had is gone. I didn't wanted to return but something told me to do so. Here is nothing to eat, not many places to find shelter in. It's only wastelands as far as the eye can see and beyond that.

Relitch says as she looks down onto her hands with a weak hand gesture.

\- You didn't wanted to return, yet you listens to the voice in your head and did what it told you. And why all this lying? You cut off the link you had with me and father, yet Bard tells me that you felt father die.

\- Calm down, Ratcha. I can explain.

\- Calm down? How can you tell me to calm down with all this anger and confusion inside me? Do you have the sightless clue about the pain you have given me through the years?!

The more I talk, the angrier does my voice become.

It doesn't take long until my voice is so dark that I can see the fright in mother's eyes.

_"It's just right for you that I put fright in you, Mom. I've had suffered long enough, now it's your turn."_

I don't know why I find pleasure in seeing the fright play in mother's eyes. I… I just do, I guess.

\- Ratcha. Please. Let me explain.

\- Go on then.

\- But you have to calm down from your anger first. When you're in this state, you'll act before thinking.

I don't know if it's the determination in her eyes that I have seen so many times as a child or the knowledge in her words. Something is it that forces me to take a deep breath and calm my angry mind down.

I sit down with my hands raised and gives her a challenging glance. In return, she gives me a cold stare that ends the little fighting spirit I had.

\- That's better.

She says when she sees the challenging glance disappear from my eyes, and sighs.

\- When that Dragon attacked Dale, it was like an invisible force took control over my body and I ran into the forest. For three moons did I walk around with no control over myself. I was locked inside myself and couldn't do anything about it. I saw what I did, and it still haunts me. I killed them. I killed all of them.

Here does her voice trails off, as she is closes her eyes shut to prevent her tears from falling.

\- Who did you kill, mother?

I ask, terrified of the answer.

\- Our kin. I lead the Orcs to their houses, or I killed them with my bare hands. All the while as this thing was taking pleasure in it. And I tried everything to keep the sight away from my eyes. I know it's hard to believe, Ratcha. But I am telling the truth.

Relitch whispers.

The anger that boils in me dies just as quick as it started when I see the hurt soul that is pleading to me to help it be free from the nightmares it have seen.

\- (_Sigh_) How did you free yourself from this invisible force? Or is it not you but the thing that is sitting in front of me?

\- I am myself. The invisible thing that had controlled my body for 10 years lead me to Dol Guldur.

\- Wait. Dol Guldur? The ancient fortress in Mirkwood?

\- How do you know that?

\- Gandalf's friend Radagast the Brown had been there when Greenwood had begun to turn sick, He said that something bad is going on in that fortress.

\- Sauron is rising.

Mother says with cold voice.

\- Sauron? He who created the One Ring?

I ask with wide eyes.

When mother nods her head, I look away as the realization of what she just said wraps itself around my heart like a cold hand.

\- He was the one who took control over you, wasn't it?

\- No. It was one of his nine followers. He wanted me to become his, and turned me into this. But when I walked inside the gate to Dol Guldur, his power begun to weaken. So, I saw my chance and fought back. I barely escaped with my life and fled to what I thought would be a safe place.

\- The Wood Elves Kingdom.

Here does mother gives me another wondering glance, but I whisk it away.

\- Go on.

\- As you said, I seeked help from Thranduil. But rumors had begun to spread about what I had done, and Thranduil didn't wanted a coldness killer inside his Kingdom. He wanted to help, but he didn't wanted to put my life at risk. He told me to look for help in Lake-Town. And that's what I did.

\- Bard wasn't old enough to take care of you then.

\- That was for 30 years ago, Ratc. I never told Bard, but I have been in his life from when he was a small child. I guess I have change so much so I was beyond recognition for him.

\- You're beyond recognition for me too.

I say as I look at her more closely.

Her hair is as dark black as it was when she payed Bard a visit before I arrived. Her skin is not as pale anymore, but it's not as colorful as it have been. Her clothes are hanging loosely on her and they can't give her a lot of protection from the coldness that is coming.

Mother looks away from my judging eyes and sighs.

\- I can understand that.

She whispers as she pulls her jacket closer to her.

With a sigh of my own, I reach over to my backpack and takes out a jacket, similar to the one I'm wearing. I also takes out shirt and trousers and gives everything to her.

\- I'm not going to sit around and watch you freeze when I have clothes that fit you.

I say with a shrug when she gives me a questioned look.

\- How can you be so sure that your clothes will fit me?

\- Because the shirt you're wearing is the one you always complained over to be too small. Now, it looks to be too big.

With a huffing sound, Relitch takes of her shirt.

Her scared skin beneath it makes my eyes widen in shock.

\- What have you done to yourself?

I ask when my eyes register the scares that is not from self-defense but from self-harm.

\- (_Sigh_) I gave myself them as a punishment to myself. I punished myself for all the time I never thought back against my capture. I punished myself for every one of my kin that I took their life from. And I punished myself for not finding you when you needed me.

She says with a voice filled with hurt and sorrow as I sit down beside her.

I have never seen my mother this heartbroken. Her mind is so fractal that her walls that was so strong not even father, who was one of the more powerful Mind-Changers, could get through them. I actually think he would have but he never tried to do so. Now are those walls nothing but dust that I can blow away. I have never seen her cry. She have always made sure that I have been in another room or that I was asleep.

Not knowing what to do, I take her hand and squeeze it lightly.

\- You said it yourself, Relitch. You had no control over yourself for more than 10 years. In that time, everything your body did was nothing you decided. Don't think so much on the past. Focus more on the future. The past is nothing you can change, but the future is something you can decide how you want it. I know that I can't do much of the pain you have been suffering, but I know that I now can be there for you when you feel that you have no one.

I say as I look her deep in the eyes with a smile.

And for the first time this morning, does she smiles back.

\- Take on the shirt, mother.

It is a little too big for her, but that's nothing my powers can't fix.

Relitch looks at me with proud eyes and it looks for a moment that her face have more color, but in a blink of an eye it's gone.

After she have taken on the pants and jacket, she sits down with a happy sigh.

I have been out to collect more wood to the fire, and what I saw out there made me worried.

\- If you want, you can follow me when I leave later today. Or you can go your own way.

I say as I drop the wood beside the fire before sitting down myself.

\- Why do you have to leave?

Mother asks while brushing her hair with a hair brush I found at the bottom of the backpack.

\- We're too close to Erebor, I was almost caught by Ori who was outside to collect wood himself.

\- You haven't told me why you're not in that Mountain.

With a frustrated sigh, I look into the fire as I tell her why it's not safe to be too close to Erebor.

\- The Dragon Sickness was not only inside Thror. It was in every stone in that Mountain. This quest was doomed before it even started.

I say as I finally looks up from the fire.

\- Thorin have ordered everyone inside the Mountain that if they see me, they should kill me. If they don't, Thorin will punish them with death and that is not a risk I will bring upon them being so close. How do you want it? Follow me or go on your own?

Mother looks down on the clothes she's wearing, then she looks at me with a confident smile.

\- I'll follow you.


	6. Chapter 6

Not long after, the fire is put out and we have wiped away as much of the evidence that someone have been in the cave. And we're now walking in the snow, trying to put a great distance between ourselves and the Mountain.

I'm walking first and I have to look over my shoulder now and then to see that Relitch doesn't falls behind.

When we started walking, we hadn't come far before she had stumbled down to her knees. I had helped her up thinking nothing more of it. But when she had fallen down five more times, I started to wonder how bad shape she had become.

When I look over my shoulder this time, I hear the now familiar sound of when she goes out of breath before falling. I turn around smoothly and catch her before her knees touch the ground.

\- Thank you.

Relitch whispers as I lightly pull on her arm to help her up. I have helped her so many times now that she says with automatically.

\- Do you want to sit down and catch your breath? Don't try to deny that you're out of breath, mother.

I say when I see the protest in her eyes.

She close her mouth and eyes before sighing deeply.

When she opens her eyes again, all I can see is pain and suffering.

Without her answering my question, I lead her to a tree that has fallen over and tells her to sit down with her back resting onto the tree.

Our jackets are long enough to sit on, and they doesn't get wet that quick.

She sits down with a quiet sigh of relief and closes her eyes with an exhausted smile.

I put the backpack down before I kneel down and open the bag to take out a water bottle and gives it to her.

\- Drink.

I say.

\- I know what I should do with a water bottle, Ratc.

She answers with a smirk.

I snort in responds as I take out some dried pork and take a bite.

\- Why do you have so bad control over your feet? And why do you have so bad condition?

I ask after I have watched her drink half the bottle empty in one go.

\- I guess it's because I haven't done anything to stay in shape as I always had to be when I chased you around the house.

She answers with a wink and a side smile.

\- (_Hah_) It was not my fault that you always had to do that. Most of the time it was you who started. But that's not just the reason, mother.

\- (_Sigh_) No, you're right. When my body was under someone else control, I became weaker for each day. He slowly took my energy from me. When I reached Dol Guldur, I had barely none energy to take a deep breath. He was feeding on my energy to become stronger since he couldn't produce energy himself. But he didn't know that I needed some energy to produce the amount he took from me. Had he given me some energy left, I don't think I would have left as quick as I did.

She answers with a weak shrug.

\- I think differently.

I say with a smirk.

Relitch looks at me with wrinkled eyebrows.

\- What do you mean?

\- I think that, if he had left some more energy over for you, you would have gotten out from his grip much sooner than when you reached Dol Guldur. I actually think he knew what he was doing. You had enough energy to get to him, but not enough to fight back. When you walked through that gate, he didn't weakened, he simply let go of his iron grip on you to let the rest feed on your energy. But you saw your chance and since he didn't had the iron grip anymore, you got the upper hand and could escape with your life. Not that what I said can be true.

I say with raised hands.

\- No, you may be onto something there. When I walked through the gate, it felt like a million of hands was all over me. They maybe got to exited that they lost their control over me.

Relitch says while she rubs her hand over her cheek, as she always do when she thinks.

"_The more time I spends with her, the more of my mother returns."_

I think with a smile.

When she have gotten a more rhythmic breathing again, we counties our walking.

\- Do you have any particular place in mind?

Relitch asks.

I make a thinking expression while I look around before continuing straight forward.

\- Honesty, I don't. Have you?

I say over my shoulder.

\- I think I have.

Mother says as she ducks for a stick.

\- Show the way.

I say as I take a step to the side while doing a hand gesture.

Relitch smiles and shakes her head before walking past me.

* * *

Several hours later does she a sharp left turn before pointing on something.

\- There is a cave there where I have find shelter before. If it's not occupied, then it's a great hiding place for the night.

I look the way she is pointing, and it takes a few seconds before my eyes register the opening in the mountain.

I look up at the sky and try to locate the sun. But its hiding behind the mountain on its way down.

With a quiet sigh, I close my eyes and focus on the cave that's in front of us.

I can't see anyone in there, nor will it come anything during the night.

The time it takes for me to do all this, mother haven't moved an inch and is watching me with the eyes I have come to call teacher eyes.

\- No one's there now, nor will it come anyone during the night. It's a safe hiding spot as you said. If my mind is something we can trust, then it will come a snowstorm during the night.

I say with my eyes focused on the cave.

In the corner of my eyes can I see mother smile and walks closer to me.

\- You have finally stopped listen so much on your mind and accepted your heart. Be proud of yourself, Ratc.

She says with a light pat on my shoulder.

"_You would only know the truth. But not now."_

I smile back at her before walking towards the cave with her right behind me.

When the fire is started and we have collected enough wood for the night, a comfortable quiet wrap around us as we eat our food.

\- Can you tell me something, Ratchi?

Mother asks, using the nickname only she and father used when I was 2.

\- It depends. But go on.

I say with a smudge smile on my face.

Relitch gives me a look mixed with humor and disappointment, but she can't hide the smile and the laugh that plays in her eyes.

\- Why have you been around the Dwarves who hated us the most?

"_I knew she would ask that."_

\- (_Sigh_) Would you believe me when I say that I've called them my family for 60 years?

I say as I lean on the mountain wall with another sigh and raise my eyebrows.

Relitch copies my move, except she doesn't lean onto a wall. She raises her eyebrows and tilt her head to the side.

\- Time to get comfortable, mother.

I say as I crosses my legs and do a little show gesture.

\- It's story time.

* * *

When the story time is over, I lean back to the wall and studies mother with enigmatic eyes.

Relitch have been watching me without a word.

Now does she widen her eyes in surprise and wonder.

\- And not once did you questioned the fact that Thorin also would the Dragon-Sickness?

\- Did you not listen to the half of what I just said? I said many times that I was and that I also spoke to Thorin about it. Had I been with him when that door opened, I maybe had gotten a chance to prevent this.

Without noticing it, I have lowered my voice and Relitch raises her hands while giving me a scared look.

With an exhausted sigh do I force myself to calm down. I then give Relitch a side smile and tilt my head.

She haven't notice anything, but now and then have I given her powers more strength to rebuild itself and become strong enough to her to use.

I have also helped her walls to rebuild themselves and they are now so strong that I can barely get through them, and that's a good sign.

\- I know that you're blaming yourself for this, Ratc. But try to see it from my perspective, I have not been around the Dwarves who once was my friends but then wanted me dead. I have been in constant fear whenever I was close to a Dwarf that he or she would recognize me and kill me. I saw the world from the shadows of what once was a powerful being. And I saw it fall apart around me. People started to turn against each other when they thought that were with a Mind-Changer. They would put prices on the remaining of our kin. The few I didn't killed got slaughtered by the Dwarves because of Gold. You knew about the Dragon Sickness, yet you decided that Thorin was someone you could trust…

\- He gave me a home, a family, a new hope to my broken spirit, Relitch. I was only a small child who had nothing to live for. And Thorin showed me that I did have something to live for. How would you react when someone tells you that they will be there for you when you think that no one ever will? Even if that person once wanted you killed?

I say, cutting her off.

Relitch looks at me with her mother eyes, a wrinkled eyebrow and a thoughtful glance in them.

\- I was not the only one who was afraid that the Dragon Sickness would somehow be inside Thorin as well. Dis did, Fili and Kili did. Everyone in the company did. Every day on this journey was I worried that Thorin would kill me. It didn't matter how many times he promised that he never would become his grandfather, the fright I had never went away.

I say with a broken voice as memories comes flashing by.

I shut my eyes and force down the hatred and anger I have towards myself. And with a quiet sigh, I look at mother again.

She's sitting with her legs crossed on the other side of the campfire and are looking at me with thoughtful eyes.

\- You've been through hell, I have been through hell. (_Sigh_) We know how broken the other one is. Should we help each other with going through the pain?

I mumble quietly, mostly to myself.

Relitch doesn't answer. Instead, she stands up and walks over to me and sits down with her arm around me.

\- We have each other now, Ratchi. Im natre mi, gollo.

Relitch whispers as she kisses the top of my head.

\- I love you too, mother.

I mumble as I lean closer to her embrace with quiet tears falling down my face.

* * *

The moon is shining bright on the sky outside as I walk towards the cave with my arms full of firewood.

Relitch had suggested that she could take the first watch after I had said that we needed guarding. Being so close to Erebor as we still are, it wouldn't be a great idea if we're both sleeping in case someone would walk in.

After a quick debate with her, I had to give in when it was clear that she wouldn't change her mind. When we had decided where the moon was going to be when she was going to wake me up, and I had made myself somewhat comfortable by the fire, Relitch had said.

\- Thank you, Ratc.

\- For what?

\- For helping my powers to become stronger. I have noticed, I am your mother after all.

\- You're welcome, mother.

I had mumble before I had fallen asleep.

It had been, well one hour maybe, when mom woke me up and went to sleep herself. Being bored out of my mind, I had decided that I could get more wood to the fire.

The snowstorm I had talked about had come and gone just like that. It was not much of a snowstorm, more like a normal snowfall. But it didn't made it that hard to find good branches for the fire.

"_What was that?"_

I lay the firewood down by the fire, all the while I listen after the sound.

"_There it was again."_

\- Oh, it was only mom.

I say quietly with a smile of relief when the unfamiliar sound turns out to be mom's snoring.

With another sigh, I stand up from the fire and walks to the opening of the cave.

The sound of the fire and mom's breathing puts a calmness over the whole place, and I smile a little for myself as I look out at the moonshine dancing around the snow covered forest.

* * *

Im natre mi, gollo = I love you, my little moon.


	7. Chapter 7

\- What was that?

Mother asks as the ground shakes slightly underneath us.

\- Earthquake. Or a marching army.

I answer with a slight frown on my head.

When I woke mother up and told her that we needed to leave. I had a nagging feeling growing in my chest that something very terrible is going to happen. But every time I had tried to ignore it, the nagging feeling had grown stronger.

Now it have spread throughout my body and every sense in me is on high alert for every little thing around us.

\- Stay here. I'll just go up there and see where we are, and also see if it is an army that caused the tremble.

I say as I point at a hill nearby.

Relitch looks at the hill, she then looks back at me and extends her hand.

\- I can take the bag, Ratc. You don't need to carry it up there.

With a smile, I take of the backpack from my shoulder and gives it to her before I walk up the hill and looks around.

"_We're not even close to Dale. We're still close to the gates of Erebor! How?!"_

\- Wait. What's that?

I mumble as I look towards the hill on the opposite of Erebor.

\- Dain. Of course. He would never miss an opportunity to fight beside Thorin again if needed.

I mumble as fear and anger is building up inside me as I quickly walks down the small hill.

\- I thought we were closer to Dale, but we're still close to the gates of Erebor. The earthquake we felt was because an army just arrived to Erebor. The Dwarf's from the Iron Hill lead by Dain, Thorin's cousin, have just arrived.

I say with the breath stuck in my throat.

\- If they are here. That means trouble, big trouble.

I say with a worried undertone.

\- I can see on you that you want to help those you called family. Go Ratc. Show Thorin Oakenshield that you still care for them after what he did to you.

\- But where are you going then? If a war breaks out here, then there's no safe place for you to hide in this forest.

\- I have survived in worst conditions then this, Ratchi.

Mother says as she embrace me in a hug.

I hug her tightly back as I close my eyes shut to stop the tears from falling down.

\- Go now.

She says as she gently push me the same way as we came from.

With a sad smile, I bow deeply towards her before I turn around and sprints off.

* * *

I don't know for how long I have been running. But it feels like I'm not getting closer to Erebor. It feels like I'm getting further away from it.

"_Should I have taken left instead of right before? Or should I have gone straight forward?"_

\- I can't believe it! I'm lost in a forest I have grown up to know like the back of my hand!

I say out loud to the seemingly endless trees around me.

With a frustrated sigh, I kick a rock as hard as I can and watch it flies away before landing somewhere I can't see in this labyrinth of trees that is surrounding me.

With another sigh, this time it is a very sad sigh, I sit down with my back leaning onto one of the many trees and I hide my face in my hands as I try to remember the right way back to Erebor.

But it's like looking for a needle in the haystack. Not even my powers can seem to find the right path.

\- Why does it have to be so hard?! Why can't I find the right way back to Erebor? What is it that is stopping me?

I mumble into my hands as I open my eyes again after I have tried for the third time to find for the right path.

\- Come on, Ratc. You can't give up now. There must be something around here that can show you the right way.

I say as I force myself up again.

With a deep breath, I look at my surroundings. Trying to find something I can use to figure out in some way where I can be.

And now does my eyes register things they didn't do before.

\- That tree is leaning heavily onto the tree on its left, making it to look like an X. Wasn't it one who did that when we walked earlier today? No. Or maybe it was?

Mumbling to myself, I walk towards the tree.

"_What was that?"_

Without missing a beat, I stop mid step for a second before I continuing to walk towards the tree.

If someone was watching me, he or she would have been too much focused on where I'm heading then on what I just did. Someone who's not quick with their eyes could easily miss the little stop I did mid step. It also gives my ears some time to hear sounds that my own steps can muffle down.

"_Marching army."_

When I reach the tree, the sound of a marching army have become louder.

And it's sounds like its not so far away from where I am.

With quiet steps, I follow the sound.

But, what sounded to be close by, turns out to be far away.

Leading me astray from the path I had just found.

"_What in the name of Durin?"_

I think as I peek through some thick branches and can see one of the biggest Orc army I have ever seen.

\- Gundabad Orcs. What in the name of Mala are they doing here?

I whisper as I look on this massive army that is marching like one big Orc.

My eyes flies over the army, trying to find their leader. Even if I already have my suspicions.

"_There! On the cliff right in front of you."_

\- Azog the Defiler. Of course.

I growl in anger.

Azog is shouting his orders to his army with the wicked smile on his face. Edging them to become emotionless killers with words promising blood, violence and glory.

"_Time to take what our Master have been fighting for so long? Time to show the Dwarf schemes what we can do? Time to show Thorin Oakenshield what type of bloodthirsty enemies he have gained?"_

With a slight frown on my face, I slowly walks away from my hiding spot. Trying to understand the meaning in what Azog said.

\- Who's their Master? What did Beorn say? The Gundabad Orcs had an alliance with the Necromancer in Dol Guldur. (_Gasp_) The Necromancer is Sauron!

I gasp as the pieces finally comes to place.

What have we started? Something way bigger then we thought. That's for sure.

**CRACK!**

"_Shit."_

I don't need to use my powers to know that the sound of a branch breaking is coming from behind me. It's coming from the marching army of Orcs I just turned my back to.

And it's coming my way.

"_Don't stand still, Ratcha. Hide!"_

I find a somewhat good hiding spot behind a rock foundation and close my scent away from the Orcs that had left the army.

The Orcs walks past me, it's only two but if one sees me, because I was dumb and did not make myself invisible. Then this can be messy.

And it's just like on command, one of the Orcs stops and raise his head up into the air. Sniffing in the air as his nose picked up an unfamiliar scent.

And of course, turns around.

"_Oh, for the love of Durin!"_

The Orc grunts to his companion, who also turns around and lock eyes with mine that is burning with hatred.

With an annoyed sigh, I stand up from my kneeling position, my hand is calmly resting on the handle to my knife as I stare at the two Orcs in front of me.

\- Bazgbizgu shata?

\- Azna.

I snort as I shake my head before I look at them with a challenging glance.

\- Azizish? (_Hah_) Labish shîgog.

Shocked that I can Orchis, the two Orcs takes a step back. And that only makes my smile grow bigger.

Before they can react, I take out the knife and flick it into a sword as I leap forward killing one of them in one quick move.

As the dead Orc falls down on the ground, I turn my attention to his companion, who is slowly backing away from me with wide eyes filled with shock and fright.

\- (_Chuckle_) Amal gratlat?

I say with a low voice as I follow the terrified Orc with an evil smile on my face.

He takes two more steps backwards, before turning around and starts to run.

\- Oh, please.

I sigh as I roll my eyes before closing them.

When I open my eyes again, I'm standing right in front of the Orc, who stops and stares at me with his wide eyes.

\- Hello! Are you going somewhere?

The Orc makes a gulping sound as he takes out his sword with shaking hands.

\- Oh please, what are you? A scared little Hobbit who doesn't even know how to hold a sword with steady hands? You're not a Gundabad Orc who have been trained to become a killing weapon with no fear. If I'm going to guess, I actually think on the first one. Oh, well. Nice chat.

I say with a happy smile before I swing the sword with ease.

The Orc only manage to raise his sword halfway before mine hit his unprotected neck, cutting his head clean off.

\- I'm sorry, but I couldn't let you or your friend kill me.

I say with a hint of sorrow in my voice as I watch the headless body falls down to the snow covered ground.

After I have _"looked"_ around and make sure that none of the other Orcs have heard the little encounter I had with the two Orcs or that they have decided to see where they went, I sit down beside the headless Orc and try to get my head around over what I just have done. And also, the fact that I did it so, so… emotionless.

"_I have become an emotionless killer."_

\- No! I have not become an emotionless killer. If I hadn't done that, they would have killed me instead. They are the ones who are the emotionless killers. Oh, come on Ratcha! Stop being so sympathetic. They are Orcs! They don't care about how many lives they take during a battle.

"_Wait a minute! Battle?"_

\- Curse my own stupidity! Erebor!

I shout as I jump up on my feet again.

\- No, wait. I need to find the right way before I run off. Otherwise will I be stuck in this labyrinth to forest.

I say to myself as I try to run away without much thinking to it.

With a sigh, I force the fright that is building up inside me that Thorin and the others might be in danger down and close me eyes.

With my eyes closed, I _"let"_ the wind take me with it high up into the air so I can have a better perspective of my surroundings.

When I open my eyes again, I know exactly which way I should run to get to Erebor.

And that's exactly what I do.

* * *

\- What are we going to do with her?

\- Kill her

\- Kill me? You can at least try.

\- Where are you going?


End file.
